I am a big fan of the focus mode options and have several - one for work (so that my son's school and colleagues can still call or text), one for when he's with his dad (so he can still get through), and one for our evening routine, which is our us-time. It's mostly automated on a schedule, too, and when I don't get the itch to override it so that I can be "on", I absolutely love it.
I hit a wall and something had to give. It was not a good time for my phone usage or my mental health, which is usually what it takes for us to make a change like that!
"The internet used to be a specific place. For me, it lived in the big white brick of a computer in my parents’ bedroom, which I could access occasionally, for an hour or so at a time. But now, it’s nearly everywhere, always with us in our pockets, bags or hands. And inside of it — the whole world, it seems."
^This line in particular really resonated with me! The past couple months I've been trying to keep my eyes off my phone as much as possible. I got an app called ScreenZen to keep me off social media, turned on Do Not Disturb, and turned off most notifications except for the ones that are really important.
In a way, I'm trying to turn my phone back into the family computer that's only supposed to be looked at for short periods of time a day.
"Just like with any other technology we’ve created, what matters most is how we use it." Yes. And so long as we insist on the primary use of anything we create being economic exploitation, this is what we get. And that closing sentence-as-a-paragraph is chilling.
I invested in a Brick a few months ago, which allows me to lock myself out of whichever apps I choose and keeps me locked out until I tap my phone to the physical Brick (a magnet that lives on my fridge), and it was a game changer for me. I'd tried using screen time limits before and they were too easy to bypass, and same with Do Not Disturb... I already have notifications shut off for almost everything, and was still losing so many hours a day to social media. Now I keep myself locked out of my socials for 90% of the day and only give myself a short dedicated scrolling time in the evenings. Lately I haven't been using it as much because I haven't needed it; I've interrupted that reflexive habit and no longer find myself scrolling for an hour without even realizing that I had picked my phone up. When I do find myself having a hard time putting the device down I can engage Brick mode at any time and it helps me get to bed in a timely manner. I'm not affiliated with the company at all I just thought it was a great investment and I wish more people knew about it :)
I've been doing this for years. it's great. my phone is my social lifeline as a housebound disabled person but the constant pinging and vibrations? horrible. I've never wanted to turn it back on 😂
Thanks for the book recommendation! I already added it to my wishlist! And good point around being always online vs using the internet like we did 'back in our days'. I recently updated the Substack app and now I get notifications for every article which was not how I initially set it up. I will need to find the way to change some settings but I am wondering if this is happening to others
I've been struggling with Substack notifications in general, too, and can't seem to find a way how to turn off some but keep others. I might just end up disabling everything, though...
I came into this early, at 30. Now, it is 4+ decades later, they never really got their hooks in me.
I don't do email from anywhere except my desk, where I do most of my internet interaction
I don't combine all the iApple products into a personal network that will require my constant attention; A friend did. Stories of not wanting a call only to have it show up on their watch. Yikes, not for me.
Wife is not overwhelmed, but she is much more connected. Remote work, manages volunteers, orders books, oversees classes, and teaches a few as well. She is rarely far from her phone.
So, I understand, and agree with your position. I just lucked out in the timing as I already had barriers in place.
Here is hope that some people will heed your warning
Meditation, not self-medication. Powerful--and increasingly difficult to find the discipline. I now find myself looking at Substack several times a day, just to read what the thinkers and feelers on the platform are thinking and feeling, and whether I should be agreeing, or thinking and feeling differently... (Just sayin'!)
I have no notifications on my phone - for anything - and if someone wants my attention, they can ring me. I Check emails mostly daily during the week and not at all on weekends. Messages such as textes and Whats AP etc I deal with when I happen to see them. Works for me.
Yes my approach too. I have no notifications apart from Signal and that’s only for my sisters as we’re managing our Dad who’s in care. I don’t generally carry my phone around at home so I’m unlikely to hear if it actually rings, not that that happens much, and our connection is so poor it’s hard to carry a conversation half the time, I encourage people to text me if necessary. Hardly ever get text spam and it’s usually when I’m away from home e.g. in a city somewhere.
If you're reading a book, you can read it in one room and leave the phone somewhere else. If it rings, leave it. My wife is a retired doctor, and she is used to some phone usage. But ordinary people are not responsible for the patient's life or health. If you walk around Paris you will see everyone, maybe real Parisians or tourists. Most people in Paris today are tourists, everyone has a phone. Or, they can leave this phone in a safe at their hotel. But certainly, they want to stay in touch with their loved ones. They want to say, “Hey, I’m in Paris!” » I suppose it's the same in London or New York.
Si vous lisez un livre, vous pouvez le lire dans une pièce et laisser le téléphone ailleurs. S'il sonne, laissez-le. Ma femme est médecin à la retraite et elle est habituée à un certain usage du téléphone. Mais les gens ordinaires ne sont pas responsables de la vie ou de la santé du patient. Si vous vous promenez à Paris, vous verrez tout le monde, peut-être de vrais Parisiens ou des touristes. La plupart des gens à Paris sont aujourd'hui des touristes, tout le monde a un téléphone. Ou bien, ils peuvent laisser ce téléphone dans un coffre-fort, à leur hôtel. Mais certainement, veulent-ils rester en contact avec leurs proches. Ils veulent dire : « Hé, je suis à Paris ! » Je suppose que c'est la même chose à Londres ou à New York.
My phone has been on perma do not disturb for many months now. I unfortunately still get the urge to reach for my phone from time to time. However, not having the constant notifications still helps a lot. Now people need to actually wait for me to check an app before I can see their message LOL. It trains people not to expect me to be available 24/7 and respond immediately!
I come late to the party, as I’ve only had a phone for a year, resisting it up until then, until my work required one for two factor authentication. It also became too inconvenient not to have a phone eventually in this digital world, for calling cabs and Uber, etc.
I do find myself picking up the phone far more than I thought I would, and have given myself a couple of guidelines for use. No using when I’m with friends, unless we’re taking pictures, no phone in the bedroom, and at night it goes into its charging area. It’s been very interesting to see how some people are hyper connected, and I really hate those watches.
Thanks for this, and for the appropriate timing in the first week of the new year. I was reminded of Nir Eyal's Indistractable and the sections about triggers and the importance of creating distraction-free home/work zones.
I am a big fan of the focus mode options and have several - one for work (so that my son's school and colleagues can still call or text), one for when he's with his dad (so he can still get through), and one for our evening routine, which is our us-time. It's mostly automated on a schedule, too, and when I don't get the itch to override it so that I can be "on", I absolutely love it.
Wow, sounds like you have really mastered those modes!
I hit a wall and something had to give. It was not a good time for my phone usage or my mental health, which is usually what it takes for us to make a change like that!
"The internet used to be a specific place. For me, it lived in the big white brick of a computer in my parents’ bedroom, which I could access occasionally, for an hour or so at a time. But now, it’s nearly everywhere, always with us in our pockets, bags or hands. And inside of it — the whole world, it seems."
^This line in particular really resonated with me! The past couple months I've been trying to keep my eyes off my phone as much as possible. I got an app called ScreenZen to keep me off social media, turned on Do Not Disturb, and turned off most notifications except for the ones that are really important.
In a way, I'm trying to turn my phone back into the family computer that's only supposed to be looked at for short periods of time a day.
"Just like with any other technology we’ve created, what matters most is how we use it." Yes. And so long as we insist on the primary use of anything we create being economic exploitation, this is what we get. And that closing sentence-as-a-paragraph is chilling.
Well said! Perhaps some public policy that adds needed guardrails - but that is unlikely with tech bros buying politicians.
I invested in a Brick a few months ago, which allows me to lock myself out of whichever apps I choose and keeps me locked out until I tap my phone to the physical Brick (a magnet that lives on my fridge), and it was a game changer for me. I'd tried using screen time limits before and they were too easy to bypass, and same with Do Not Disturb... I already have notifications shut off for almost everything, and was still losing so many hours a day to social media. Now I keep myself locked out of my socials for 90% of the day and only give myself a short dedicated scrolling time in the evenings. Lately I haven't been using it as much because I haven't needed it; I've interrupted that reflexive habit and no longer find myself scrolling for an hour without even realizing that I had picked my phone up. When I do find myself having a hard time putting the device down I can engage Brick mode at any time and it helps me get to bed in a timely manner. I'm not affiliated with the company at all I just thought it was a great investment and I wish more people knew about it :)
I've never heard of it before, thank you for sharing the information!
I've been doing this for years. it's great. my phone is my social lifeline as a housebound disabled person but the constant pinging and vibrations? horrible. I've never wanted to turn it back on 😂
I haven't turned it back on either, and tbh I don't think I ever will.
Thanks for the book recommendation! I already added it to my wishlist! And good point around being always online vs using the internet like we did 'back in our days'. I recently updated the Substack app and now I get notifications for every article which was not how I initially set it up. I will need to find the way to change some settings but I am wondering if this is happening to others
I've been struggling with Substack notifications in general, too, and can't seem to find a way how to turn off some but keep others. I might just end up disabling everything, though...
I’ve turned off email notifications entirely, and made the inbox my default instead of Notes (a time-suck).💕
I came into this early, at 30. Now, it is 4+ decades later, they never really got their hooks in me.
I don't do email from anywhere except my desk, where I do most of my internet interaction
I don't combine all the iApple products into a personal network that will require my constant attention; A friend did. Stories of not wanting a call only to have it show up on their watch. Yikes, not for me.
Wife is not overwhelmed, but she is much more connected. Remote work, manages volunteers, orders books, oversees classes, and teaches a few as well. She is rarely far from her phone.
So, I understand, and agree with your position. I just lucked out in the timing as I already had barriers in place.
Here is hope that some people will heed your warning
I really don't understand the appeal of smartwatches for this exact reason, they seem even worse than having a phone.
The phone is a tool.
I use a tool to my benefit.
The tool does not use me.
- a mantra
So simple yet so empowering.
Meditation, not self-medication. Powerful--and increasingly difficult to find the discipline. I now find myself looking at Substack several times a day, just to read what the thinkers and feelers on the platform are thinking and feeling, and whether I should be agreeing, or thinking and feeling differently... (Just sayin'!)
I find myself being pulled back here more often than I'd like, too, especially since Substack introduced the Notes section.
I have no notifications on my phone - for anything - and if someone wants my attention, they can ring me. I Check emails mostly daily during the week and not at all on weekends. Messages such as textes and Whats AP etc I deal with when I happen to see them. Works for me.
Yes my approach too. I have no notifications apart from Signal and that’s only for my sisters as we’re managing our Dad who’s in care. I don’t generally carry my phone around at home so I’m unlikely to hear if it actually rings, not that that happens much, and our connection is so poor it’s hard to carry a conversation half the time, I encourage people to text me if necessary. Hardly ever get text spam and it’s usually when I’m away from home e.g. in a city somewhere.
I'm trialing minimalist phone and this seems it can help.
If you're reading a book, you can read it in one room and leave the phone somewhere else. If it rings, leave it. My wife is a retired doctor, and she is used to some phone usage. But ordinary people are not responsible for the patient's life or health. If you walk around Paris you will see everyone, maybe real Parisians or tourists. Most people in Paris today are tourists, everyone has a phone. Or, they can leave this phone in a safe at their hotel. But certainly, they want to stay in touch with their loved ones. They want to say, “Hey, I’m in Paris!” » I suppose it's the same in London or New York.
Si vous lisez un livre, vous pouvez le lire dans une pièce et laisser le téléphone ailleurs. S'il sonne, laissez-le. Ma femme est médecin à la retraite et elle est habituée à un certain usage du téléphone. Mais les gens ordinaires ne sont pas responsables de la vie ou de la santé du patient. Si vous vous promenez à Paris, vous verrez tout le monde, peut-être de vrais Parisiens ou des touristes. La plupart des gens à Paris sont aujourd'hui des touristes, tout le monde a un téléphone. Ou bien, ils peuvent laisser ce téléphone dans un coffre-fort, à leur hôtel. Mais certainement, veulent-ils rester en contact avec leurs proches. Ils veulent dire : « Hé, je suis à Paris ! » Je suppose que c'est la même chose à Londres ou à New York.
I haven’t had cell service for 2 months so it’s kind of like that! Love it.
My phone has been on perma do not disturb for many months now. I unfortunately still get the urge to reach for my phone from time to time. However, not having the constant notifications still helps a lot. Now people need to actually wait for me to check an app before I can see their message LOL. It trains people not to expect me to be available 24/7 and respond immediately!
I come late to the party, as I’ve only had a phone for a year, resisting it up until then, until my work required one for two factor authentication. It also became too inconvenient not to have a phone eventually in this digital world, for calling cabs and Uber, etc.
I do find myself picking up the phone far more than I thought I would, and have given myself a couple of guidelines for use. No using when I’m with friends, unless we’re taking pictures, no phone in the bedroom, and at night it goes into its charging area. It’s been very interesting to see how some people are hyper connected, and I really hate those watches.
Thanks for this, and for the appropriate timing in the first week of the new year. I was reminded of Nir Eyal's Indistractable and the sections about triggers and the importance of creating distraction-free home/work zones.