Well written! Do you know about the research in the area of sensitivity? See Elaine Arons's website. Seventy percent of humans across genders are sensitive. 1/5plus of all humans are highly sensitive. We process, think, feel, and sense more. This is not mere empathy. It's an interwoven intelligence that uses many senses, senses that are not bound by our skins. Social intelligence extends to connection with other species and ecosystems. The hypothesis is that Earth gifts us with these percentages (similar to those in other species) and provides enough sensitives to guide community (healers, teachers, artists, and community builders). In our times, when mentoring systems, creative intelligence, and social affection appear to wane, many more us our 70 percent of sensitives, grow ill. Meditation helps, as does self-regulation, but it is not enough. The vicious backlash against empathy is the cancer itself. The good news is that those of us in our beloved community who nurture each other's creativity and sovereignty do not lose in times like these. We grow heartier.
Thanks Cynthia, this feels really helpful in the storm of burnouts. Immersing in indigenous worldviews has also been tremendously supportive. I wonder how we maintain connection through burnout?
I believe it was Richard Leaky who promoted the idea that humans evolved large brains precisely to keep track of relationships. "He's my cousin, and she's the mother of his kids, so what exactly is my relationship to them?"
That makes perfect sense. I believe our social connections and the ability to navigate them have always been just as essential to our survival as any tool or weapon.
wasn't she brave - wonderful and daring... Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde truly held her time centre stage well and I applaud her willingness to lead in the manner that few would ever know how
As a man who has been labeled as "sensitive" as a negative when it was in fact empathy I was feeling, this piece really hit home for me. The world needs more empathy and the powers at be don't want us to have any. With no empathy, and an "Us vs. Them" mentality, being cruel and hateful becomes a lot easier. Dehumanizing fellow humans is how countries get away with the most unspeakable acts. So, I am with you. I want to continue the fight for more empathy. While it is discouraging pretty much daily, it does not mean I won't continue to do so.
Like, seriously. Empathy is a sin? I know plenty of Christians know saying something like that is patently ridiculous, even on the grounds of the religion. But Evangelicals are often the loudest and most politically influential, so the fact that these are their marching orders is while not surprising, very sad to hear. Jesus is just shaking his head right now.
i learned about a fascinating program that actually teaches empathy to adults or youths by having them spend time with babies (supervised obviously). one young fellow's anecdote is shared, he loved it and it helped him a lot, changed his life. i think it's similar to programs in aus getting prisoners to train guide dogs and assist in their care as puppies, they feel great about having participated and it would also teach empathy for many troubled people who were likely to have been abused as children by parents, siblings, teachers or even caregivers in foster care who were violent.
Thanks for this. Im a (male) lead of a psychological therapy programme that targets the development of mentalizing (aka various dimensions of empathy). This is the core impairment in borderline personality disorder understood to be a consequence of an anti-mentalizing early family environment. What ive learned is that empathy is not only vital for social functioning. There is also self-empathy. Without this we cannot effectively regulate ourselves, let alone each other.
Katie, yes, and there’s more to it. Empathy doesn’t just disappear—it gets trained out, numbed, deprioritized. The systems built around power and competition don’t reward it, and for some, the distance becomes so vast that others turn into statistics.
Wealth, privilege, socialization—all shape what people see and what they don’t. And when disconnection becomes the norm, it’s easy to call care a weakness. But that doesn’t mean empathy is gone. It’s just buried under layers and laysers of conditioning.
Great article especially at this juncture of bad behaviour. It would be great if all countries adopted the Denmark approach to teaching/learning. Still, I think many are confusing empathy and sympathy.
I didn't know that about Denmark. That's interesting! I wonder if their rate of Autism diagnosis is impacted by kids learning to recognise the signs of emotion without necessarily understanding or empathising with them on a deeper level
As a teacher, I find myself talking about this a lot with my students. As much as teachers are not supposed to tout outright “political” views, I have to tell my students that compassion should not be considered political. It’s especially disheartening to see people who view themselves as Christians (the religious majority) supporting these separations and practicing hatred when it should be about compassion and love.
I feel like there was a brief moment, during and after the initial surge of COVID, that people had more understanding and empathy for others, we were all going through a massively traumatic experience together, but that attitude quickly dissipated as people were urged and urged others to “get back to normal” even though things weren’t and still aren’t “normal.”
It’s something that seems to have also trickled down from an idea of caring for yourself and knowing your own worth which has been twisted and distilled into the idea that you need care *only* for yourself, and the younger generations are receiving this message en masse, especially given the physical disconnect caused by COVID and social media at a crucial stage in their social development.
As we usually see the overall political climate swing back and forth, I’m hoping for a resurgence in empathy.
Thank you for sharing this well-researched and well-written piece. This is something that’s on my mind a lot.
This brought to mind political flags that I've seen in front of people's houses or waving from truck beds that say, "F--- your feelings." I shouldn't be shocked by anything anymore, but I am. The war on empathy makes me sad.
Thank you for articulating so many of the thoughts that have been swirling in my head these last few weeks. We are indeed experiencing an empathy deficit. It's something I've become acutely aware of since the genocide on Gaza, and everyone's willingness to turn a blind eye and not get involved. We need empathy more than ever.
Well written! Do you know about the research in the area of sensitivity? See Elaine Arons's website. Seventy percent of humans across genders are sensitive. 1/5plus of all humans are highly sensitive. We process, think, feel, and sense more. This is not mere empathy. It's an interwoven intelligence that uses many senses, senses that are not bound by our skins. Social intelligence extends to connection with other species and ecosystems. The hypothesis is that Earth gifts us with these percentages (similar to those in other species) and provides enough sensitives to guide community (healers, teachers, artists, and community builders). In our times, when mentoring systems, creative intelligence, and social affection appear to wane, many more us our 70 percent of sensitives, grow ill. Meditation helps, as does self-regulation, but it is not enough. The vicious backlash against empathy is the cancer itself. The good news is that those of us in our beloved community who nurture each other's creativity and sovereignty do not lose in times like these. We grow heartier.
Thank you! I haven’t come across this research yet, but it’s definitely right up my alley. I’ll be sure to check it out.
Thanks Cynthia, this feels really helpful in the storm of burnouts. Immersing in indigenous worldviews has also been tremendously supportive. I wonder how we maintain connection through burnout?
I believe it was Richard Leaky who promoted the idea that humans evolved large brains precisely to keep track of relationships. "He's my cousin, and she's the mother of his kids, so what exactly is my relationship to them?"
That makes perfect sense. I believe our social connections and the ability to navigate them have always been just as essential to our survival as any tool or weapon.
The decline in reading has always worried me precisely because it hinders the development of empathy. You explained it brilliantly, Katie.
Yes, this trend is quite scary. The thought of a world where reading becomes a rarity is something I don't want to even begin to imagine.
wasn't she brave - wonderful and daring... Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde truly held her time centre stage well and I applaud her willingness to lead in the manner that few would ever know how
Her courage is truly inspiring.
She made me proud to be an Episcopalian, a sentiment shared by every one of my co-religionists with whom I spoke about it.
As a man who has been labeled as "sensitive" as a negative when it was in fact empathy I was feeling, this piece really hit home for me. The world needs more empathy and the powers at be don't want us to have any. With no empathy, and an "Us vs. Them" mentality, being cruel and hateful becomes a lot easier. Dehumanizing fellow humans is how countries get away with the most unspeakable acts. So, I am with you. I want to continue the fight for more empathy. While it is discouraging pretty much daily, it does not mean I won't continue to do so.
Like, seriously. Empathy is a sin? I know plenty of Christians know saying something like that is patently ridiculous, even on the grounds of the religion. But Evangelicals are often the loudest and most politically influential, so the fact that these are their marching orders is while not surprising, very sad to hear. Jesus is just shaking his head right now.
have you read Born for Love: Why Empathy is Essential - and Endangered?
i learned about a fascinating program that actually teaches empathy to adults or youths by having them spend time with babies (supervised obviously). one young fellow's anecdote is shared, he loved it and it helped him a lot, changed his life. i think it's similar to programs in aus getting prisoners to train guide dogs and assist in their care as puppies, they feel great about having participated and it would also teach empathy for many troubled people who were likely to have been abused as children by parents, siblings, teachers or even caregivers in foster care who were violent.
I haven't yet, no - but it sounds quite intriguing!
Another cracking good article! You are a pleasure to read as making excellent points.
Thank you!! This means a lot :)
Thanks for this. Im a (male) lead of a psychological therapy programme that targets the development of mentalizing (aka various dimensions of empathy). This is the core impairment in borderline personality disorder understood to be a consequence of an anti-mentalizing early family environment. What ive learned is that empathy is not only vital for social functioning. There is also self-empathy. Without this we cannot effectively regulate ourselves, let alone each other.
Shutting down empathy is pretty characteristic of cult/high-demand group control.
Katie, yes, and there’s more to it. Empathy doesn’t just disappear—it gets trained out, numbed, deprioritized. The systems built around power and competition don’t reward it, and for some, the distance becomes so vast that others turn into statistics.
Wealth, privilege, socialization—all shape what people see and what they don’t. And when disconnection becomes the norm, it’s easy to call care a weakness. But that doesn’t mean empathy is gone. It’s just buried under layers and laysers of conditioning.
You’re naming something real. And that matters.
Great article especially at this juncture of bad behaviour. It would be great if all countries adopted the Denmark approach to teaching/learning. Still, I think many are confusing empathy and sympathy.
Thank you! I really hope one day we'll see more countries following their lead.
I didn't know that about Denmark. That's interesting! I wonder if their rate of Autism diagnosis is impacted by kids learning to recognise the signs of emotion without necessarily understanding or empathising with them on a deeper level
As a teacher, I find myself talking about this a lot with my students. As much as teachers are not supposed to tout outright “political” views, I have to tell my students that compassion should not be considered political. It’s especially disheartening to see people who view themselves as Christians (the religious majority) supporting these separations and practicing hatred when it should be about compassion and love.
I feel like there was a brief moment, during and after the initial surge of COVID, that people had more understanding and empathy for others, we were all going through a massively traumatic experience together, but that attitude quickly dissipated as people were urged and urged others to “get back to normal” even though things weren’t and still aren’t “normal.”
It’s something that seems to have also trickled down from an idea of caring for yourself and knowing your own worth which has been twisted and distilled into the idea that you need care *only* for yourself, and the younger generations are receiving this message en masse, especially given the physical disconnect caused by COVID and social media at a crucial stage in their social development.
As we usually see the overall political climate swing back and forth, I’m hoping for a resurgence in empathy.
Thank you for sharing this well-researched and well-written piece. This is something that’s on my mind a lot.
This brought to mind political flags that I've seen in front of people's houses or waving from truck beds that say, "F--- your feelings." I shouldn't be shocked by anything anymore, but I am. The war on empathy makes me sad.
Thank you for this article. I really enjoyed it and a very important topic indeed.
Glad to hear this! Thank you for reading.
This was such a fantastic read.
Thank you for articulating so many of the thoughts that have been swirling in my head these last few weeks. We are indeed experiencing an empathy deficit. It's something I've become acutely aware of since the genocide on Gaza, and everyone's willingness to turn a blind eye and not get involved. We need empathy more than ever.