Well written! Do you know about the research in the area of sensitivity? See Elaine Arons's website. Seventy percent of humans across genders are sensitive. 1/5plus of all humans are highly sensitive. We process, think, feel, and sense more. This is not mere empathy. It's an interwoven intelligence that uses many senses, senses that are not bound by our skins. Social intelligence extends to connection with other species and ecosystems. The hypothesis is that Earth gifts us with these percentages (similar to those in other species) and provides enough sensitives to guide community (healers, teachers, artists, and community builders). In our times, when mentoring systems, creative intelligence, and social affection appear to wane, many more us our 70 percent of sensitives, grow ill. Meditation helps, as does self-regulation, but it is not enough. The vicious backlash against empathy is the cancer itself. The good news is that those of us in our beloved community who nurture each other's creativity and sovereignty do not lose in times like these. We grow heartier.
Thanks Cynthia, this feels really helpful in the storm of burnouts. Immersing in indigenous worldviews has also been tremendously supportive. I wonder how we maintain connection through burnout?
I believe it was Richard Leaky who promoted the idea that humans evolved large brains precisely to keep track of relationships. "He's my cousin, and she's the mother of his kids, so what exactly is my relationship to them?"
i learned about a fascinating program that actually teaches empathy to adults or youths by having them spend time with babies (supervised obviously). one young fellow's anecdote is shared, he loved it and it helped him a lot, changed his life. i think it's similar to programs in aus getting prisoners to train guide dogs and assist in their care as puppies, they feel great about having participated and it would also teach empathy for many troubled people who were likely to have been abused as children by parents, siblings, teachers or even caregivers in foster care who were violent.
wasn't she brave - wonderful and daring... Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde truly held her time centre stage well and I applaud her willingness to lead in the manner that few would ever know how
Great article especially at this juncture of bad behaviour. It would be great if all countries adopted the Denmark approach to teaching/learning. Still, I think many are confusing empathy and sympathy.
Gosh, I just love your Substack! I think this one especially is timely, now that Zuckerberg went public with his statement to “man up”.
However, I differ about the bish. IMO, she was out of place doing this in front of parishioners who only wanted church service and communion, not president-bashing. IMO it was a topic for private discussion or an opinion piece in the “Washington Post”. Had it been a man bish, I believe the outcome would have been different—in what way, I don’t know.
Women entered the workplace after WWII and to get ahead, a woman had to “be like a man” which is where I believe empathy started to slide. Look at the poster with Rosie the Riveter flexing her arm. Women keep telling themselves, “Be like a man.” Yet men (Zuckerberg, e.g.) don’t see our efforts to be like him and Musk, so they’ll push harder and get rid of women in the workplace because, you know, we’re the cause of things like Zuck.’s stock dive (even though it was due in large part to Apple tightening their privacy requirements).
Stress comes when the remaining employees pick up the slack (man up!), and that’s what’s been happening here for a couple of decades. The top 1% wants more money and that comes from profits: cut, cut, cut. People here are burned out and this country ranks poorly in areas, especially health.
It’s unfair to compare USA to Denmark, which is a small country, the about half the size of WV. It comes close to half of VT but not nearly close to half the size of any of the other 48 states, and is minisculed when compared to most states. What Denmark does will never happen here because we’re too big with lots of people to please. Too much, too big, too many. [For reference, England is about the size of AL, but Oregon, not even the largest state, is the size of the United Kingdom as a whole.]
We have our ways. We use the law. For deportation, it’s going to be the ongoing battle of interpretating the 4th and the 10th Amendments, ongoing for about 250 years. There’s no direct language that says states have sovereignty. There’s the rub.
That doesn’t involve empathy. Empathy happened when states, counties and cities declared themselves sanctuaries during Trump’s last term as president, fully aware that retaliation, $$ especially, may ensue.
There’s lots of empathy here. You’re not seeing it yet, other than the Chicago Public School stand off four days ago. I have written to my paper to publish people’s rights, and I wrote to them today an article that discusses the two Amendments. I also admonished the paper for not keeping us informed as to what the churches, schools, mayors, counsilors, and police departments are doing to prepare for ICE coming here. My city’s pop is 40% Hispanic-speaking and they probably are not talking (White Christian right is in charge) so I took them to task. See? Empathy, even in the good ‘ole US of A! It’s just quiet at this point.
Think back to a time when you went to a church wedding. Didn't the minister's sermon preach kindness, understanding and respect for each other? How is that materially different from the bishop asking the new president to exercise kindness and understanding of the most powerless of people under his care? How would that be inappropriate in a public setting? It seems to me to be a reasonable request of any new president, but it seems Trump became angry due to a guilty conscience.
I see what you're saying. When there's a wedding, everyone is in attendance for the couple, so focusing on them for the sermon because that's why they are there. On the other hand, on any given Sunday, the focus in a Christian church is on Jesus, not the president. In this case, she singled out the president for her agenda. The focus shifted inappropriately. I would have walked out, even though I think the president is a sociopath and more.
There are laws in Denmark and they're implemented. The US isn't exceptional in having a constitution, laws, even the presumption of innocence.
However, I agree that ideas and policies of solidarity are easier to implement in a small and ethnically and culturally homogeneous country such as Denmark.
On the other hand, the US have for decades promoted radical individualism and identity politics deliberately pitting people against each other. In such an atmosphere, it's difficult to nurture empathy.
What you say is true. It has been going on for more than decades; I have read research into the areas of divisiveness and it has been going on since the beginning of our first charter. For instance, the Civil War split over slavery; radical individualism that settled the western frontier. The US was started as an experiment. I'm buckled up to see where this goes.
I didn't know that about Denmark. That's interesting! I wonder if their rate of Autism diagnosis is impacted by kids learning to recognise the signs of emotion without necessarily understanding or empathising with them on a deeper level
Empathy has its dark side too. The problem with DJT and his ilk isn’t that they lack awareness of other people’s feelings, it’s that they use that awareness to terrorize and intimidate others, and they derive vast amounts of pleasure (or what they perceive to be pleasure) by doing so. We need to get better at identifying and isolating these malevolent threats, quickly and without apology.
I'm guessing that this societal lack of empathy is due in no small part to the decline of novel reading in mainstream society. Shows, movies, and video games don't have anywhere near the same effect as written fiction. It's no coincidence that the powers that be devalue the humanities and a college education just when they want us to be unempathetic, disengaged, and uninformed.
This brought to mind political flags that I've seen in front of people's houses or waving from truck beds that say, "F--- your feelings." I shouldn't be shocked by anything anymore, but I am. The war on empathy makes me sad.
Katie, yes, and there’s more to it. Empathy doesn’t just disappear—it gets trained out, numbed, deprioritized. The systems built around power and competition don’t reward it, and for some, the distance becomes so vast that others turn into statistics.
Wealth, privilege, socialization—all shape what people see and what they don’t. And when disconnection becomes the norm, it’s easy to call care a weakness. But that doesn’t mean empathy is gone. It’s just buried under layers and laysers of conditioning.
Well written! Do you know about the research in the area of sensitivity? See Elaine Arons's website. Seventy percent of humans across genders are sensitive. 1/5plus of all humans are highly sensitive. We process, think, feel, and sense more. This is not mere empathy. It's an interwoven intelligence that uses many senses, senses that are not bound by our skins. Social intelligence extends to connection with other species and ecosystems. The hypothesis is that Earth gifts us with these percentages (similar to those in other species) and provides enough sensitives to guide community (healers, teachers, artists, and community builders). In our times, when mentoring systems, creative intelligence, and social affection appear to wane, many more us our 70 percent of sensitives, grow ill. Meditation helps, as does self-regulation, but it is not enough. The vicious backlash against empathy is the cancer itself. The good news is that those of us in our beloved community who nurture each other's creativity and sovereignty do not lose in times like these. We grow heartier.
Thanks Cynthia, this feels really helpful in the storm of burnouts. Immersing in indigenous worldviews has also been tremendously supportive. I wonder how we maintain connection through burnout?
I believe it was Richard Leaky who promoted the idea that humans evolved large brains precisely to keep track of relationships. "He's my cousin, and she's the mother of his kids, so what exactly is my relationship to them?"
Another cracking good article! You are a pleasure to read as making excellent points.
The decline in reading has always worried me precisely because it hinders the development of empathy. You explained it brilliantly, Katie.
have you read Born for Love: Why Empathy is Essential - and Endangered?
i learned about a fascinating program that actually teaches empathy to adults or youths by having them spend time with babies (supervised obviously). one young fellow's anecdote is shared, he loved it and it helped him a lot, changed his life. i think it's similar to programs in aus getting prisoners to train guide dogs and assist in their care as puppies, they feel great about having participated and it would also teach empathy for many troubled people who were likely to have been abused as children by parents, siblings, teachers or even caregivers in foster care who were violent.
wasn't she brave - wonderful and daring... Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde truly held her time centre stage well and I applaud her willingness to lead in the manner that few would ever know how
She made me proud to be an Episcopalian, a sentiment shared by every one of my co-religionists with whom I spoke about it.
Thank you for this article. I really enjoyed it and a very important topic indeed.
Great article especially at this juncture of bad behaviour. It would be great if all countries adopted the Denmark approach to teaching/learning. Still, I think many are confusing empathy and sympathy.
Gosh, I just love your Substack! I think this one especially is timely, now that Zuckerberg went public with his statement to “man up”.
However, I differ about the bish. IMO, she was out of place doing this in front of parishioners who only wanted church service and communion, not president-bashing. IMO it was a topic for private discussion or an opinion piece in the “Washington Post”. Had it been a man bish, I believe the outcome would have been different—in what way, I don’t know.
Women entered the workplace after WWII and to get ahead, a woman had to “be like a man” which is where I believe empathy started to slide. Look at the poster with Rosie the Riveter flexing her arm. Women keep telling themselves, “Be like a man.” Yet men (Zuckerberg, e.g.) don’t see our efforts to be like him and Musk, so they’ll push harder and get rid of women in the workplace because, you know, we’re the cause of things like Zuck.’s stock dive (even though it was due in large part to Apple tightening their privacy requirements).
Stress comes when the remaining employees pick up the slack (man up!), and that’s what’s been happening here for a couple of decades. The top 1% wants more money and that comes from profits: cut, cut, cut. People here are burned out and this country ranks poorly in areas, especially health.
It’s unfair to compare USA to Denmark, which is a small country, the about half the size of WV. It comes close to half of VT but not nearly close to half the size of any of the other 48 states, and is minisculed when compared to most states. What Denmark does will never happen here because we’re too big with lots of people to please. Too much, too big, too many. [For reference, England is about the size of AL, but Oregon, not even the largest state, is the size of the United Kingdom as a whole.]
We have our ways. We use the law. For deportation, it’s going to be the ongoing battle of interpretating the 4th and the 10th Amendments, ongoing for about 250 years. There’s no direct language that says states have sovereignty. There’s the rub.
That doesn’t involve empathy. Empathy happened when states, counties and cities declared themselves sanctuaries during Trump’s last term as president, fully aware that retaliation, $$ especially, may ensue.
There’s lots of empathy here. You’re not seeing it yet, other than the Chicago Public School stand off four days ago. I have written to my paper to publish people’s rights, and I wrote to them today an article that discusses the two Amendments. I also admonished the paper for not keeping us informed as to what the churches, schools, mayors, counsilors, and police departments are doing to prepare for ICE coming here. My city’s pop is 40% Hispanic-speaking and they probably are not talking (White Christian right is in charge) so I took them to task. See? Empathy, even in the good ‘ole US of A! It’s just quiet at this point.
I’m excited to see how Trump's trumped. And soon.
I disagree - the bishop was entirely appropriate.
Think back to a time when you went to a church wedding. Didn't the minister's sermon preach kindness, understanding and respect for each other? How is that materially different from the bishop asking the new president to exercise kindness and understanding of the most powerless of people under his care? How would that be inappropriate in a public setting? It seems to me to be a reasonable request of any new president, but it seems Trump became angry due to a guilty conscience.
I see what you're saying. When there's a wedding, everyone is in attendance for the couple, so focusing on them for the sermon because that's why they are there. On the other hand, on any given Sunday, the focus in a Christian church is on Jesus, not the president. In this case, she singled out the president for her agenda. The focus shifted inappropriately. I would have walked out, even though I think the president is a sociopath and more.
There are laws in Denmark and they're implemented. The US isn't exceptional in having a constitution, laws, even the presumption of innocence.
However, I agree that ideas and policies of solidarity are easier to implement in a small and ethnically and culturally homogeneous country such as Denmark.
On the other hand, the US have for decades promoted radical individualism and identity politics deliberately pitting people against each other. In such an atmosphere, it's difficult to nurture empathy.
What you say is true. It has been going on for more than decades; I have read research into the areas of divisiveness and it has been going on since the beginning of our first charter. For instance, the Civil War split over slavery; radical individualism that settled the western frontier. The US was started as an experiment. I'm buckled up to see where this goes.
I didn't know that about Denmark. That's interesting! I wonder if their rate of Autism diagnosis is impacted by kids learning to recognise the signs of emotion without necessarily understanding or empathising with them on a deeper level
Empathy has its dark side too. The problem with DJT and his ilk isn’t that they lack awareness of other people’s feelings, it’s that they use that awareness to terrorize and intimidate others, and they derive vast amounts of pleasure (or what they perceive to be pleasure) by doing so. We need to get better at identifying and isolating these malevolent threats, quickly and without apology.
I'm guessing that this societal lack of empathy is due in no small part to the decline of novel reading in mainstream society. Shows, movies, and video games don't have anywhere near the same effect as written fiction. It's no coincidence that the powers that be devalue the humanities and a college education just when they want us to be unempathetic, disengaged, and uninformed.
This brought to mind political flags that I've seen in front of people's houses or waving from truck beds that say, "F--- your feelings." I shouldn't be shocked by anything anymore, but I am. The war on empathy makes me sad.
This very atomization, fueled by technology, makes us, as a people, more malleable in the hands of autocrats and would-be autocrats.
Katie, yes, and there’s more to it. Empathy doesn’t just disappear—it gets trained out, numbed, deprioritized. The systems built around power and competition don’t reward it, and for some, the distance becomes so vast that others turn into statistics.
Wealth, privilege, socialization—all shape what people see and what they don’t. And when disconnection becomes the norm, it’s easy to call care a weakness. But that doesn’t mean empathy is gone. It’s just buried under layers and laysers of conditioning.
You’re naming something real. And that matters.
Makes me want to move to Denmark… Thanks for reminding us how important empathy is.